Witminfas is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, slow squirrel.

Witminfas created the planet Jupiter four years ago.

If you believe in Witminfas, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Witminfas, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Witminfas' most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Witminfas' Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Do not take Witminfas' name in vain.

4. Feed all hungry aardvarks.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.