Yarptombag is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, intelligent dove.

Yarptombag created a top quark nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yarptombag, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Yarptombag, it will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Yarptombag's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Yarptombag's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of tin.

3. Erect a large copper sculpture of Yarptombag on top of all buildings.

4. Do not trade with those who eat strawberries.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.