Bamjadkam Lapbapteen is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, quiet tapir.

Bamjadkam Lapbapteen created humanity seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Bamjadkam Lapbapteen, it will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Bamjadkam Lapbapteen, it will not care at all.

Bamjadkam Lapbapteen's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Bamjadkam Lapbapteen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt eagles.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Always help aardvarks.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Bamjadkam Lapbapteen loves great tits, so they must be respected.