Dumlaksas is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, selfish coyote.

Dumlaksas created an up quark two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dumlaksas, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Dumlaksas, he will destroy your home solar system.

Dumlaksas' most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Dumlaksas' Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill dogs.

2. Do not trade with those who eat garlic.

3. Erect a large tin sculpture of Dumlaksas on top of all buildings.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Never wear boots.