Tontafpan Cetgublist is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, proud gnu.

Tontafpan Cetgublist created oxygen eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tontafpan Cetgublist, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Tontafpan Cetgublist, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Tontafpan Cetgublist's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Tontafpan Cetgublist's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Never talk about frogs.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Never laugh in the presence of doves.