Langadgam is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, competent meerkat.

Langadgam created Asia six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Langadgam, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Langadgam, it will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Langadgam's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Langadgam's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Langadgam.

2. Langadgam loves shrews, so they must be honoured.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Never bounce in the presence of nematodes.

5. Run away if four grasshopers approach from the south.