Jipflisdud is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, merciless spider.

Jipflisdud created silver four million years ago.

If you believe in Jipflisdud, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Jipflisdud, he will throw large rocks at you.

Jipflisdud's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Jipflisdud's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Never mention goats.

3. Do not wear copper on your body.

4. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.

5. Never talk about fire.