Gumtunzig is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, generous centipede.

Gumtunzig created the Black Eye Galaxy two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gumtunzig, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Gumtunzig, it will turn you into a duck.

Gumtunzig's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Gumtunzig's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Worship no other gods but Gumtunzig.

4. Always help voles in need.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.