Flanbonkspag is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, unjust fly.

Flanbonkspag created parasitic wasps six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flanbonkspag, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Flanbonkspag, she will refuse to believe in you.

Flanbonkspag's most sacred site is Manna in Greece.

Flanbonkspag's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat horses with great respect.

2. Never feed aubergines to nematodes while wearing mauve trousers.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Flanbonkspag.

4. Never mention ants.

5. Feed all hungry mites.