Ratlidtal is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, all-powerful camel.

Ratlidtal created life three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ratlidtal, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Ratlidtal, he will turn you into a puffin.

Ratlidtal's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Ratlidtal's Holy Commandments

1. Never bounce in holy places.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Always treat geese with great respect.

4. Never write about gravity.

5. Ratlidtal must be the most important thing in your life.