Fudhivtun is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, unselfish guinea pig.

Fudhivtun created the planet Venus eight million years ago.

If you believe in Fudhivtun, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Fudhivtun, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Fudhivtun's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Fudhivtun's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Always make sure there are no goats in a room before entering it.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate hamsters.

5. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.