Bonkwegwik is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, awe-inspiring dove.

Bonkwegwik created an electron nine million years ago.

If you believe in Bonkwegwik, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Bonkwegwik, it will turn you into a tree.

Bonkwegwik's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Bonkwegwik's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick capybaras.

2. Always look after injured manatees.

3. You must pray to Bonkwegwik three times a day.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Do not cook food in pots.