Ruttgaddap is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, pitiless jaguar.

Ruttgaddap created the universe four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ruttgaddap, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Ruttgaddap, it will turn you into a sparrow.

Ruttgaddap's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Ruttgaddap's Holy Commandments

1. Eagles are not to be trusted.

2. Never write about moons.

3. Never think ill of sick birds.

4. Always help frogs in need.

5. Ruttgaddap loves ducks, so they must be honoured.