Japxucjig is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, proud spider.

Japxucjig created Africa two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Japxucjig, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Japxucjig, it will destroy your home planet.

Japxucjig's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Japxucjig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat oranges.

2. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

3. Always treat grasshopers with great respect.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Japxucjig.

5. Do not wear iron on your body.