Bemgupgodwapvonkgamranmin is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, charitable cobra.

Bemgupgodwapvonkgamranmin created a down quark five million years ago.

If you believe in Bemgupgodwapvonkgamranmin, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Bemgupgodwapvonkgamranmin, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Bemgupgodwapvonkgamranmin's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Bemgupgodwapvonkgamranmin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not sing in public.

2. You must love Bemgupgodwapvonkgamranmin.

3. Always treat whales with great respect.

4. Always help pigs.

5. Never talk about comets.