Arnquat is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, self-confident centaur.

Arnquat created energy four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Arnquat, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Arnquat, it will turn you into a small brown duck.

Arnquat's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Arnquat's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about black holes.

2. Never talk about great tits.

3. Run away if six squirrels approach from the east.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Always take life seriously.