Fembid is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, emotional eagle.

Fembid created a photon five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fembid, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Fembid, it will send minions to preach to you.

Fembid's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Fembid's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick turtles.

2. Do not speak about bananas.

3. Never wear coats.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Retreat if four snails approach from the south.