Gombughak is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, dishonest aardvark.

Gombughak created Europe three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gombughak, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Gombughak, it will turn you into a rat.

Gombughak's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Gombughak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Gombughak's name in vain.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Never feed aubergines to cats while wearing blue jumpers.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Never hurt ants.