Barndapyarp Jabtan is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, fussy jellyfish.

Barndapyarp Jabtan created gold nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Barndapyarp Jabtan, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Barndapyarp Jabtan, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Barndapyarp Jabtan's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Barndapyarp Jabtan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat coconuts.

2. Always help eagles in need.

3. Never look at galaxies.

4. Never talk about asteroids.

5. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.