Quilltettifar is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, loving mole.

Quilltettifar created water three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quilltettifar, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Quilltettifar, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Quilltettifar's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Quilltettifar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear silicon on your body.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Quilltettifar.

3. Worship no other gods but Quilltettifar.

4. Erect eight tin sculptures of Quilltettifar on top of important buildings.

5. Never talk about moons.