Nakhitwik is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, omniscient parrot.

Nakhitwik created a photon three billion years ago.

If you believe in Nakhitwik, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Nakhitwik, she will turn you into a hamster.

Nakhitwik's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Nakhitwik's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Never look at black holes.

3. Never hurt mites.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Nakhitwik.

5. Do not drink water in orange rooms.