Tettipaszag is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, almighty dove.

Tettipaszag created energy five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tettipaszag, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Tettipaszag, he will boil you in a big pot.

Tettipaszag's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Tettipaszag's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about planets.

2. Pray towards the west.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Never laugh in holy places.

5. Never think about stars.