Metmontad is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, able fish.

Metmontad created time and space twelve years ago.

If you believe in Metmontad, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Metmontad, he will remove you from existence.

Metmontad's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Metmontad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Run away from cyan nematodes, for they are unholy.

3. Never wear blue rings.

4. Do not wear indigo clothing.

5. Always look after injured badgers.