Bisscabgumlenhaslogcat is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, benevolent narwhal.

Bisscabgumlenhaslogcat created the Sol system eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bisscabgumlenhaslogcat, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Bisscabgumlenhaslogcat, he will attempt to scare you with floods.

Bisscabgumlenhaslogcat's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Bisscabgumlenhaslogcat's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of copper.

3. You must love Bisscabgumlenhaslogcat.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Never think about asteroids.