Kapvedmig Hatmifhud Vedgodcib is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, resourceful mink.

Kapvedmig Hatmifhud Vedgodcib created a charm quark four million years ago.

If you believe in Kapvedmig Hatmifhud Vedgodcib, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Kapvedmig Hatmifhud Vedgodcib, it will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Kapvedmig Hatmifhud Vedgodcib's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Kapvedmig Hatmifhud Vedgodcib's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the south.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

4. Kapvedmig Hatmifhud Vedgodcib loves otters, so they must be honoured.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Kapvedmig Hatmifhud Vedgodcib.