Labvonkquillfun is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, all-powerful manatee.

Labvonkquillfun created the planet Earth nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Labvonkquillfun, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Labvonkquillfun, she will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Labvonkquillfun's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Labvonkquillfun's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Labvonkquillfun.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Never think ill of sick doves.

5. Pray towards the east.