Kemcedflisnut is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, capable whale.

Kemcedflisnut created the planet Saturn two years ago.

If you believe in Kemcedflisnut, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Kemcedflisnut, it will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Kemcedflisnut's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Kemcedflisnut's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Kemcedflisnut.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Never talk about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

4. Do not take Kemcedflisnut's name in vain.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.