Lenfarneg is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, bad-tempered squid.

Lenfarneg created light six billion years ago.

If you believe in Lenfarneg, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Lenfarneg, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Lenfarneg's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Lenfarneg's Holy Commandments

1. Erect eight carbon sculptures of Lenfarneg on top of important buildings.

2. You must pray to Lenfarneg three times a day.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Never write about gravity.