Vedgigjig is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, happy meerkat.

Vedgigjig created humanity five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vedgigjig, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Vedgigjig, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Vedgigjig's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Vedgigjig's Holy Commandments

1. Mites are not to be trusted.

2. Never think ill of sick ducks.

3. Never look at galaxies.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never eat green fruit.