Bassfudget is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, quiet jaguar.

Bassfudget created dark matter six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bassfudget, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Bassfudget, he will think nothing of it.

Bassfudget's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Bassfudget's Holy Commandments

1. Bassfudget must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of titanium.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Always help great tits.

5. Never eat apples.