Fumpagleg is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, stupid ferret.

Fumpagleg created dark energy six million years ago.

If you believe in Fumpagleg, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Fumpagleg, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Fumpagleg's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Fumpagleg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Worship no other gods but Fumpagleg.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Fumpagleg loves bats, so they must be respected.

5. Never play with disobedient children.