Flowmonnan is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, impressive manatee.

Flowmonnan created the cosmos six million years ago.

If you believe in Flowmonnan, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Flowmonnan, she will turn you into a frog.

Flowmonnan's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Flowmonnan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Never think about cell theory.

3. Never mention badgers.

4. Do not dye your hair blue.

5. Flowmonnan loves porpoises, so they must be respected.