Kikzag is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, contented fairy.

Kikzag created the Virgo Supercluster seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kikzag, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Kikzag, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Kikzag's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Kikzag's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Kikzag.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Kikzag.

4. Always obey Kikzag's priests.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.