Baffobcuss is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, passionate eagle.

Baffobcuss created Europe eight million years ago.

If you believe in Baffobcuss, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Baffobcuss, it will turn you into a giant snail.

Baffobcuss' most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Baffobcuss' Holy Commandments

1. Never write about nebulae.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Pray towards the west.

5. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.