Habpadpin is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, narcissistic slug.

Habpadpin created Africa seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Habpadpin, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Habpadpin, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Habpadpin's most sacred site is Syndendro in Greece.

Habpadpin's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at asteroids.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate dogs.

3. Do not take Habpadpin's name in vain.

4. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

5. Never mention rats.