Xuchunbom is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, smart clam.

Xuchunbom created the planet Jupiter six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Xuchunbom, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Xuchunbom, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Xuchunbom's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Xuchunbom's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

2. Never hurt squirrels.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

5. Xuchunbom must be the most important thing in your life.