Quart is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, unsympathetic giraffe.

Quart created tapeworms nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quart, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Quart, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Quart's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Quart's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair blue.

2. Do not speak about melons.

3. Never think about moons.

4. Always help hamsters.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate seals.