Gad Wignuttvigpon is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, self-confident fish.

Gad Wignuttvigpon created a down quark nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gad Wignuttvigpon, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Gad Wignuttvigpon, it will turn you into a tree.

Gad Wignuttvigpon's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Gad Wignuttvigpon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your feet.

2. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

3. Always treat dogs with great respect.

4. Always help eagles.

5. Never think about black holes.