Gadnurtsadflamdot is a god.

He takes the form of a small, calm tortoise.

Gadnurtsadflamdot created light eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gadnurtsadflamdot, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Gadnurtsadflamdot, he will torture you forever.

Gadnurtsadflamdot's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Gadnurtsadflamdot's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of copper.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Always help otters in need.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Never play with disobedient children.