Quimloopgem is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, deceitful parrot.

Quimloopgem created Africa two million years ago.

If you believe in Quimloopgem, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Quimloopgem, she will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Quimloopgem's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Quimloopgem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Never think about cell theory.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Always pray immersed in water.