Tafgessfed is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, weak aardvark.

Tafgessfed created everything that exists eight million years ago.

If you believe in Tafgessfed, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Tafgessfed, it will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Tafgessfed's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Tafgessfed's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

2. Always look after injured dogs.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate eagles.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Tafgessfed.