Cambopfligtapshavbum is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, omnipotent meerkat.

Cambopfligtapshavbum created matter seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cambopfligtapshavbum, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Cambopfligtapshavbum, it will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Cambopfligtapshavbum's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Cambopfligtapshavbum's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into green rooms.

2. Monkeys are not to be trusted.

3. Do not speak about lentils.

4. Always help aardvarks.

5. Run away from pink shrews, for they are unholy.