Natflowappont is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, flying crab.

Natflowappont created humankind four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Natflowappont, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Natflowappont, it will denounce you as a heretic.

Natflowappont's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Natflowappont's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from brown doves for they are unholy.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Natflowappont.

3. Do not trade with those who eat gooseberries.

4. Never think about comets.

5. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.