Sandobyarl Tabkarcum is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, all-knowing whale.

Sandobyarl Tabkarcum created a strange quark seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sandobyarl Tabkarcum, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Sandobyarl Tabkarcum, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Sandobyarl Tabkarcum's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Sandobyarl Tabkarcum's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if three bats approach from the west.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Never hurt doves.

5. Never write about amino acids.