Cetgep is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, staggering meerkat.

Cetgep created viruses two years ago.

If you believe in Cetgep, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Cetgep, it will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Cetgep's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Cetgep's Holy Commandments

1. Never bounce near mice.

2. Always make sure there are no geese in a building before entering it.

3. You must pray to Cetgep nine times a day.

4. Do not drink water in turquoise rooms.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.