Fagnarcednartnabtongubstan is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, deceitful cow.

Fagnarcednartnabtongubstan created tapeworms seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Fagnarcednartnabtongubstan, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Fagnarcednartnabtongubstan, it will turn you into a plant.

Fagnarcednartnabtongubstan's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Fagnarcednartnabtongubstan's Holy Commandments

1. Always help dolphins.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.