Luntargflab is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, deceitful wombat.

Luntargflab created the world eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Luntargflab, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Luntargflab, it will turn you into an amoeba.

Luntargflab's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Luntargflab's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from blue badgers for they are unholy.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Luntargflab loves great tits, so they must be respected.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.