Bifjintonk is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, duplicitous jellyfish.

Bifjintonk created the planet Earth five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bifjintonk, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Bifjintonk, it will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Bifjintonk's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Bifjintonk's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no monkeys in a building before entering it.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. You must love Bifjintonk.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.