Benyatnarlfud is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, astonishing cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Benyatnarlfud created Europe five million years ago.

If you believe in Benyatnarlfud, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Benyatnarlfud, she will curse you with boils.

Benyatnarlfud's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Benyatnarlfud's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Benyatnarlfud must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Never mention cats.

5. Run away if eight squirrels approach from the east.