Gupwonlarg is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, egotistical hippopotamus.

Gupwonlarg created the Andromeda Galaxy eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gupwonlarg, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Gupwonlarg, it will turn you into a blue tit.

Gupwonlarg's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Gupwonlarg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill tortoises.

2. You must love Gupwonlarg.

3. Always help voles in need.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Do not wear pink clothing.